disclaimer [06 Sep 2002|12:04am] [ mood | amused ] Sometimes you just have to laugh at things that happen. Sure, they hurt. But you just have to laugh. I guess you really can't take life too seriously, because sooner or later its gone. Sooner or later everything is gone. Relationships, friendships.. nothing really lasts forever. Forever couldn't even last forever, because everything has to end someday. Nothing stays the way it is. Change is unstoppable. I hate change. I despise it. You think everything is perfect and it always changes.. I haven't been all that busy, just haven't felt like updating. in the night..

disclaimer [02 Sep 2002|07:06pm] [ mood | confused ] .. Alot's changed for me in the past two months. Alot's different for everyone else two. I don't know why. I guess two months is alot longer than we give it credit for. I don't know, I'm confused about almost everything now. I just really don't know what to say in this thing except for I'm here. So I guess thats it. in the night..

disclaimer [31 Aug 2002|09:59am] [ mood | amused ] Okay, so I got the nerve to undelete this thing. Haha, thats great isn't it? Oh well here I go again. I guess after being deleted I'll have to re-establish myself in the little community we have here. Err, not so little.. but anyways. Yeah. See you around. 3 screams | in the night..

disclaimer [03 Aug 2002|10:30pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | None. ] FUCKERS. You know you all missed me. You wanted me back so much. I am now back to my former glory, and you may all worship me and bow down. Or you could just comment in the journal like a normal person. I'm back in LA now, so you can all call me like you used to. Noah and Joy - So sorry that I missed your wedding, I had so much to do over here in Tokyo, I've had no time for anything. I wish I could have been there more than the world. [ Due to overwhelming demand OOC, I'm keeping this role. Hate it or love it, folks. ;) ] 1 scream | in the night..

disclaimer [13 Jul 2002|09:16am] *sigh* Is it ok if I go off and die now? Okay. Thanks. See you in another life? I hope not.. 12 screams | in the night..

disclaimer not dead.. not alive, though. [23 Jun 2002|10:34pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Bring It On on TV.. ] I'm just saying this: I'm not dead. Is this that necessarily a good thing? Maybe. I love melissa_dream. She got bullshitted too. Don't you just hate that, Mel? Pfft. 6 screams | in the night..

disclaimer ... [21 Jun 2002|03:46pm] [ mood | cold ] [ music | Mandy Moore - Candy ] Well Craig left for Dani's birthday, but I'm staying up here just until Sunday, because I need some alone time. I mean I just don't feel up to all that much for some reason. I just feel so.. so blah. Well my Independent single release is set for 7-17, I believe. ( Dani's birthday presents.. ) Happy Brithday Dani <3 I sent them express mail so you should get them today. 4 screams | in the night..

disclaimer [20 Jun 2002|12:29am] [ mood | weird ] [ music | Emma Bunton - High On Love ] I don't know about everything thats going on right now. It all feels so weird in a way, and in another way it feels so wrong, like its gotta stop, I can't take it. I wanna know why the weird and bad shit always gets delt over to me? I'm glad Craig's been sleeping through all the conversations I've had tonight.. He woulda been mad. Partially at me. I feel so bad in a way. I have feelings for this one person, but I feel like I'm leading the other on...which is totally wrong on my part. Me and Marshall are friends again I guess, okay.. Dani's birthday is tomorrow, or.. *looks at the time* today, I should say. A big happy birthday to her. I'll post the stuff I got her later. I'm feeling a little tired right now. I don't know about anything right now.. everything is going wrong, just like it always is. 3 screams | in the night..

disclaimer NYC, here I am.. [19 Jun 2002|02:32pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | 2gether - Every minute, every hour ] Well guys, I'm in NYC! Me and Craig are here and we're staying until Sunday morning, well he can stay if he wants, but I'm leaving Sunday morning to take a plane back to LA. So, yeah. Me and Craig are gonna have alot of fun. We're sharing a hotel room (I know what you're thinking; and you're wrong!), and we've got some shit planned to do together. So, I'll probably update more about that later. On a lighter note - Tim plays hockey with his whiteboy fro. :) 1 scream | in the night..

disclaimer [19 Jun 2002|01:17am] [ mood | crazy ] [ okay guys, sorry, false alarm! I'M STILL HERE! thank you and goodnight. *bows* ] 5 screams | in the night..

disclaimer [19 Jun 2002|12:33am] [ I'm thinking of giving this journal up. Its not official, but I don't know. I think alot of people can't understand that this isn't real. Its just a game. I didn't begin this to cry myself to sleep every night. Thanks, and goodbye. ] 11 screams | in the night..

disclaimer [18 Jun 2002|03:04am] [ mood | good ] [ music | Tonya Mitchell - Broken Promises ] I've had a good day. I exercised and worked on the new album, went to a few photo shoots, and just did my thing. Welcome trina_mcgee, I'm sure you'll have a great time on LJ. I have nothing interesting to talk about so I suppose a real update will come tomorrow. I think I'm going to ask Craig if he'd like to go drinking with me on Friday. 2 screams | in the night..

disclaimer etljhewu [16 Jun 2002|02:22pm] [ mood | loved ] [ music | Britney Spears - Cinderella ] This is about Gina. ( I DON'T HATE GINA. Jesus.. ) 2 screams | in the night..

disclaimer Fuck everyone and everything.. I could care less.. or much more.. [15 Jun 2002|07:21pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | Victoria B. - Girlfriend ] Do you know what it feels like to adore someone and hate them all at the same time? Yeah you all know who I'm talkin' about, don't lie, we all know that I was into Marshall. Maybe I still am. Its wearin' off pretty quick, though. You see, there's such a thing as carin' about someone, and they tell you they don't feel the same. Its the right thing to do. But there's also a thing where you care about someone, they don't feel the same, and they lie their asses off and thell you that they do. They bullshit you into believin' they cared, then they just walk off. I'm not gonna lie. I still like him, sure. But whats the point of puttin' your heart into someone who never felt the same to begin with, and you don't have a chance? I still care about him. But I'm not gonna put effort into tryin' to do anything with it. See thats where the hate someone and adore someone at the same time thing goes into play. See, you really, really care 'bout this person, but they've pissed you off so bad you feel like you just want them to go the fuck away and leave you alone. But then the side of you that still cares wants-ta push forward and still go on and try. I don't know how to describe how I'm feelin' right now. I need a break from shit like this. I need a break from fake people. I need a break from bein' lied to. I need a break from carin' about someone who couldn't give a fuck less about me. Thats how the story ends, as most of us have learned, you never put your heart in a guy, you just never do it, 'cause your only gonna end up gettin' hurt and shoved away no matter what you do. No matter how many times you apologize for anything you've done wrong, the guy still won't let you back in. So fuck it. I'm through with men. I'm through with the bullshit about carin' about people. 3 screams | in the night..

disclaimer icons.. [15 Jun 2002|12:39am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Victoria B. - Girlfriend ] Okay guys, vote on which icon I should use.. Poll #40593 Icons. Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 15 Which icon should I use? View Answers One. 8 (53.3%) Two. 3 (20.0%) Three. 4 (26.7%) 4 screams | in the night..

disclaimer [14 Jun 2002|01:21pm] [ mood | stressed ] [ music | Geri Halliwell - Feels Like Sex ] Due to some events that happened last night, I decided not to go drinking with Craig and Dani. Maybe some other time. Maybe not. My friends have all made this plan, not against me, but against the fact that I cut myself. Last night's conversation with Gina- jEePeRsGiNa: it's ok, i understand and i think everyone else will too. hope you feel a little better about it in the morning, well later today actually but whatever Auto response from angelic ayumi: ..I'm away..I have a date with a set of razor blades that seem highly attracted to my arm and my arm the same to them.. jEePeRsGiNa: oh my god...don't even think about it ayumi! Okay, so, I never found the motherfuckers, (the razor blades), but I still managed to scare alot of people to death. jubilant x joy: If you cut, I cut :\ It's like.... Jump and I jump with you. angelic ayumi: Awwwww :\ angelic ayumi: But then if I accidently cut I'll feel really bad :( jubilant x joy: *sniff* I can accidentally cut myself too.. Okay, so Gina and Joy have both told me that if I cut they will too. jEePeRsGiNa: i have that you cut, i cut rule too And Lila decided if I cut that she will never, ever forgive me. lillilae: If you cut yourself EVER, I will never forgive you. I had a friend who almost died like that So I suppose I have no choice. I still can't find the stupid things anyway so I could care less. I think Joy came in and stole them while I was sleeping. :\ edit: ComplexuMeTenes: you cut i cut too ComplexuMeTenes: and dammit, i hate pain, so don't cut] Now Tim's in on it too, eesh.. 3 screams | in the night..

disclaimer ..why am I so fucked up.. [13 Jun 2002|10:07pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | none.. ] How come I always get the one person I don't want to be pissed at me pissed? How do I manage to get him this mad at me? Why do I screw things up like this all the time? Why am I such a bitch? Why do I act so stupid in front of people I want to impress? Why don't I just shut the fuck up when I should and stop bothering people? 2 screams | in the night..

disclaimer pfft.. [13 Jun 2002|09:00pm] [ mood | bored ] [ music | Victoria Beckham - Girlfriend ] Hey guys, whats shaking? Nothing here. I'm extremely bored, you know what I'm sayin'? But me, danielle_raabe, and craig_david are gonna go drinking, or at least we're thinking about it seriously. From 12 to sunrise, we're gonna see who can have the most tequilas. You know its gonna be me. I was downloading random songs today and everyone remembers Victoria Beckham right? Let me remind you. Posh Spice. I think you're getting closer now. Anyways I was downloading a couple songs and I downloaded one from her called "Not Such An Innocent Girl". and I really liked it, so I reccomend you download it, but here are the lyrics. Anyways I'll update more shortly if anyone can give me ideas on what about. EDIT - YOU NEED TO VISIT TIM (timothy_goebel) AND ALEXEI (alexei_yagudin) RIGHT NOW OR ELSE THANK YOU ( Not such an innocent girl.. ) 26 screams | in the night..

disclaimer ..FUCK FUCK EW GOD DAMMIT [12 Jun 2002|10:14pm] [ mood | jealous ] [ music | nsync - game over ] Guess what, guys?! I'm envious! I'm jealous! I AM VERY JEALOUS Joy knows why. If any of you ask you will most likely find out. But a few of you won't. Don't be offended if I don't tell you, but if I don't, you just can't know. *clings to Joy* I never want to ever ever talk to anybody except you, Lila, and Dani again.. *sobs* I'm so jealous.. 24 screams | in the night..

disclaimer [12 Jun 2002|04:31pm] [ mood | okay ] [ music | Mandy Moore - Split Chick ] This.. is a pointless update. If you don't comment you can fuck yourself. :) I hope Dani feels better soon. That is all. 10 screams | in the night..

navigation [ viewing | most recent entries ] [ go | earlier ]